8/20/09


Today I feel like taking cover.
I want to avoid stuff.
Just stuff.
I don't want to think about the house.
I don't want to think about the three different teacher questionnaires I need to fill out.
I don't want to think about the hundreds I'll need to spend on school clothes.
I don't want to think about how next week Zoe turns 9.
What?
How did that happen.
I don't have a thing for her yet.
I don't want to think about how waking at 6:00am after a night at work is going to feel again...one more week and I will.
I don't want to think about the girl drama that happens when you're in 4th grade.
My Zoe is so fragile.
So sensitive.
Her sweet little heart can't take much abuse.
I don't want to think about debt.
I don't want to think about how scary it is out there in the big bad world.
I don't want to think about artificial growth hormones,
antibiotics, pesticides.
How organic may not mean organic.
I want to spend $300 at anthropologie and buy new bedding.
I've filled my cart a half a dozen times...just dreaming.
I want to hire a maid.
I want to hire a nanny.
I want to feel what it's like to never worry about finances.
No more migraines.
No more stomach wrenching fights between my girls.
I'm negative today.
I hate that.
It's not a good feeling.
90 degrees and 100% humidity = really bad hair.
I'll turn it around.
I always do.
So don't worry.
I'm ok.
xo

7 comments:

Jes said...

aw, Love!
i feel ya! i really do! my eyes welled up just reading this because my worry list isn't too far off...
sending love and hugs to you
xxoo

gina said...

Ditto! Glad to see someone writing what most of us are feeling - certain days are just hard. Yes they are!

Hang in there!

K said...

i agree with Jes and Gina....but sometimes i have trouble expressing myself when i am having one of those yuck days (or weeks...or months)!! i also have a 9 year old heading into 4th grade with very similar worries. My Sophia is so tender hearted and a peace keeper...but i believe all will be okay! i hope your day gets better and as for the hair...all is can say is PONYTAIL or like I always do, throw a hat on!

Trish said...

seriously you are describing my day... or week rather. wishing all the worries of this life would fade away!!!

ShoozieShoes said...

Don't mention Anthropologie. In the store in Plano, TX they have this huge solid wood 19th Century Italian bakery chest of drawers that is used as part of the display. It fills one entire wall. It has shelves and drawers and cupboards. It is just gorgeous! It is also for sale. I think the price tag says something like $18,000. I used to go there just to look at that thing. It's probably good that we've moved...

Laura said...

did I write this?
you know me...and I am right there with you.
I am reading blogs right now to avoid the bills...
school in two days
house work
crying...

I GET IT.

Wish we could meet for coffee and hang out and be in denial together...

jody said...

i get that!
days like that are tough...but sometimes denial is all you can do!
hope it passed and all is looking up.
i called the hubby today to please pick up the younger two for his lunch. i went to the pool, swam countless laps in the SUN and now i feel like myself. it was adult lap swim...NO KIDS! i needed that. now if it was just dinner time, i would pour myself a big old glass of red!
xxooo