:O

I'm tired of feeling like everyday is a race.
My throat aching because I'm tired...you know that feeling when you've been running in the cold? That's what I'm talking about.
I'm tired of feeling like a loser.
Like I don't/can't BE like those other Moms...you know the ones.
With the perfectly planned birthday parties.
The beautiful cake.
The 'I'm simply purrrfect.I.got.it.going.on' way about them.
I am SO not that Mom.
Today is Zoe's birthday and my day went something like this...
**

I asked my Mother-in-Law to pick me up some of these beauties because there isn't a Whole Foods near me...thinking that since they were my favorite cupcakes around that they'd be Zoe's favorite cupcakes...Yup, thought I could get out of baking that cake...just this once. I knew we'd be getting home mid afternoon and we have an open house for Stella's preschool at 6...didn't think I'd have the time. BUT. Since Zoe informed her Grammie last night that she'd be looking for my homemade chocolate cake with chocolate frosting I had to somehow do it. Laura what I'd give to have one of YOUR cakes!!!! Do you ship and how fast can it get here? ;)

I was also informed that a certain someone would be expecting BALLOONS for her birthday. :O
Ok.
I'll/we'll pick some up when we go to the grocery store because now, I've just found out that Little.Miss.Nine.Year.Old has requested my chicken noodle soup for dinner. K.
So we get the damn balloons that take the woman behind the counter five minutes per f-ing balloon to blow up, tie and attach with string. Pay. Leave. And proceed to watch in disbelief as they float up to the landfill in the sky. NEXT TIME...TIE THEM TO THE WEIGHT...OK?
So, back we go into the store that I've now spent eternity in to get replacements.
Tired girls, whiny and hot. Got them and head home.
GULP.
I've got a cake to bake, chicken soup to make, presents (that were purchased MONDAY at 10pm) to wrap and a whole lot of other crap to do BEFORE we have to leave.
Loser.
Failure.
Martha Stewart wanna-be but will never be.
**
Home.
Getting it done by the skin of my teeth (what does that even mean?). I'll sweat my way through each and every cotton pickin' thing I have to do before 6. Oh, and if I hear WOW, you've had three kids...you're SO thin...Don't ask me why.
UH...it's because I DON'T STOP.




EVER.
**

Happy Birthday Zoe...it's all worth it.
I'd do anything in the world for you because I'm your Mom and you're my daughter and I love you so very much.
xo

When 8 becomes 9...

You're only one more year away from being 10.
A decade.
Which makes me think about how in ten more years you'll be 20.
I don't want you to grow up.
I want you to be under my wings forever.
I don't want you far from me...ever.
But when the time comes, I will let you go.
But I won't want to.
**
You are a beautiful, sensitive, artistic little lady.
I love the way you dream.
Believe in magic.
Your heart is tender and you make a wonderful sister.
An amazing daughter.
A loyal friend.
**
I want to remind you to believe in yourself because often you forget.
That when you try you have given yourself a chance.
That when you make mistakes you will learn from them and that it's ok.
That life is full of both joy and disappointments.
That without both you wouldn't appreciate the other.
That you must love yourself and others will love.
To smile brightly because it will make you feel better and bring happiness to others.
That you are you and there is only one you.
**

Happy Birthday sweet Zoe!
We love you baby girl.
xo

for the lovely blog mention...
you made my day.
xo

Today I feel like taking cover.
I want to avoid stuff.
Just stuff.
I don't want to think about the house.
I don't want to think about the three different teacher questionnaires I need to fill out.
I don't want to think about the hundreds I'll need to spend on school clothes.
I don't want to think about how next week Zoe turns 9.
What?
How did that happen.
I don't have a thing for her yet.
I don't want to think about how waking at 6:00am after a night at work is going to feel again...one more week and I will.
I don't want to think about the girl drama that happens when you're in 4th grade.
My Zoe is so fragile.
So sensitive.
Her sweet little heart can't take much abuse.
I don't want to think about debt.
I don't want to think about how scary it is out there in the big bad world.
I don't want to think about artificial growth hormones,
antibiotics, pesticides.
How organic may not mean organic.
I want to spend $300 at anthropologie and buy new bedding.
I've filled my cart a half a dozen times...just dreaming.
I want to hire a maid.
I want to hire a nanny.
I want to feel what it's like to never worry about finances.
No more migraines.
No more stomach wrenching fights between my girls.
I'm negative today.
I hate that.
It's not a good feeling.
90 degrees and 100% humidity = really bad hair.
I'll turn it around.
I always do.
So don't worry.
I'm ok.
xo

I can't believe we've got only a couple more weeks of lazy summer days. July was a complete wash (literally) as it rained every flippin day! Our little summer list of things to do has now been pushed to September.

Check:
~ Finally went to Butternut last week and picked blueberries, peaches, red and green tomatoes.
~ Watched all the old school movies we wanted the kids to see except for Back To The Future (still time)
~ Stella is on her way to being potty trained (just happend in the last few days and I am ONE proud Mama!!!)
~ Went to the beach only once but add today's visit and that will be twice (not nearly enough but all that time/weather has allowed thus far)
~ Went to the wood park last week (awesome playground in Madbury)
~ Of course, we went to Colorado
~ Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream
~ Made fried green tomatoes...our favorite summer time treat!!!

Uncheck:
~ Storyland (will go in Sept or Oct)
~ Camp out in the backyard
~ House projects...I'm ready to pack it in...I can't take the constant home repairs anymore!!!!
~ Sleepover at Ding Dongs (for Zoe and Ruby) will happen though before school...pretty sure :)
~ Go on Nonno's boat
~ Our annual trip to Woods Hole...not sure that'll happen though I SO want it too!

So. Looks like we have more to squeeze in before it's too late! The girls already got letters from their teachers with the list of supplies they'll be needing...if that's not a sign Summer is almost over I don't know what is!!!!

Off to get ready for our beach day...can't wait!
xo

L'Andana...

I never wanted to go back to bartending. In fact, I told Craig I would NEVER go back to bartending even though it IS what I'm good at (sounds stupid I know) but I LOVE it and I seem to think it shows :)

Where I work matters to me. I know to some driving an hour to work is CrAzY but I look at it like it's my only option. Working for the best there is for so many years and then being asked to come work for them again is both flattering and an honor (cheesy but true). I actually don't mind the drive. There are zippo kids in the back seat screaming, crying or teasing each other...which means I'm not screaming, yelling and cursing. I'm calm which almost never happens.

This is where I work and this is a fantastic photographer who took shots of our restaurant about a month ago....wanted to share :)

Come visit me!

xo

Colorado wrap-up...

A little bit of cuteness running around :)

Cousin love...for the first couple of days Stella was calling Ben 'Macaroni and Cheese' :)

The art auction we went to was AMAZING!
I bid on and won four 'cake' pictures that will be perfect for the playroom when it's done....sometime in 2020 ;)
Loved the Warhols!

This guy is the best toy on earth...hands down.
Even with two bad shoulders and two bum knees he manages to be a big kid....he's always the main attraction at any party or school gathering!

Token family pic.

Cute except I had a migraine and I can see the tension in my smile.

Only a couple more weeks with my eight year old...she'll be 9 on the 26th!!!

Good Lord!
Ruby is definitely one-of-a-kind...
and I mean that in a good way :)

NEW

NEW stuff in the shop....
xo

Our tiny little town had random fireworks last night...
We never really 'do' fireworks...not my thing.
However, I was totally impressed!!!
Fun, community, made me love our little American town all the much more.
Friends we see everyday during school were out in droves...the girls were hopped up on the excitement of it all...so cute.

***
Since we got back from Colorado things have been crazy around here.
Craig is over-loaded with work which is definitely a good thing.
I'm working on average four shifts a week which might be a bit too much...but I DO love it!
School starts in less than four weeks!!!!!
Zoe turns nine on the 26th.
My head is spinning.
I need to breathe.
We haven't been to Butternut farms yet this summer!
We went to the beach ONCE!
Fried clams only TWICE!
Ice cream never often enough!
My shop is lacking,
my house a mess,
my fairy garden has like seven flowers and 9000 weeds.
Our roof is half-way done.
Breathe.
Off to begin my day....
xo

Random...

Shots from Colorado...
My FAVE is the gondola shot...the girls called it the bubble in the sky :)

xo