so grown up...

this sweet girl entered our lives almost eight years ago...we weren't ready, we weren't married (ahem...we had been engaged for two by this point, together five...we knew we wanted babies just not that quick). i had a successful career, we were young and in the rock n' roll scene, we wanted to parrrttaaay :) i'll never forget. it was new years eve 1999...rolling into the millennium and we had BIG plans that night. l and i had gone shopping for hours at bloomingdales to find the perfect outfit...laughing and planning the whole time. we got home and started to get ready...nothing out of the ordinary. for some reason c suspected i was pregnant and i was in D-NILE!!! we bought not one, two, three, four but five tests and all of them said 'hello mama!' i called my girlie l who lived across the parking lot from our apartment in Brighton...she couldn't believe it yet i'll never forget her secret knowing smile every time she looked at c & i. we didn't say a word to anyone for a few weeks until it had been confirmed from the dr. alas, no partying went on that night. i had made a silent promise to z that from that point on i would take care of her, treasure her, love her. all the bad vices ended that night and we began our journey of parenthood. sure, i wonder what or where i could have been if we had waited but you can't plan all things. life takes you for a curve and most of the time it's your choice with what you do with it. i love you sweet z, my big girl.

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