I had MAJOR insomnia last night. I went to bed around 9 because I was tired from working the night before and I had had a migraine earlier in the day. I read for a bit and nodded off to sleep. Woke up at 10:45 and COULD NOT get back to sleep. I kept feeling like I couldn't swallow which made me panic. I started making lists in my head of all the things I can't forget to bring on our 10 day trip to Telluride. Then I started questioning myself as a mother. I need to stop feeling guilty about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G! It's so easy to do as a mom. Perfection and motherhood do NOT go hand in hand and this I need to realize right damn now. I must have started nodding off again but because of my lack of swallowing I drank more water than usual which then made me have to ___e every half hour! Awake again. Checking the clock and counting the remaining time I have left to sleep. Ugggggg. It's morning...did I even sleep? Bought the cheap ground coffee instead of my usual and WHY the hoot did I do a stupid thing like that? Because I was trying to shave a few dollars off my already exorbitant grocery bill...note to self (don't skimp on the IMPORTANT things like coffee...makes for a lousy cup = a cranky mom). Blah, blah, blah. Working a ton next week. Yawn. Later taters.
Daily Gratitudes
1. Sunshine
2. Family
3. Today I was a good mom
4. The pool
5. Yummy dinner
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2 comments:
wow...i just read your post and boy how i can relate. Why is that we carry SOOOO much guilt as mothers and this crazy notion that we can DO. IT. ALL. and be perfect at all that we are doing! One thing at a time is what I try to tell myself! We can only do so much, right?!? However, it does sound like through all this, you learned an important lesson...DON'T SKIMP ON THE GOOD STUFF...THAT MORNING CUP OF COFFEE! I hope you have a peaceful night tonight. Blessings.
I wish I could give you a hug right now. That post is so real - your feelings jump off the screen and make me want to cry with you or protect you or laugh with you. I hate sleepless nights and the havoc they play on our vulnerable mommy minds and hearts. Efforts & pressure to always do better, be better.... it is exhausting, and normal, and maddening and I'm sorry you had such a time.
Like K said, I hope you have a peaceful night tonight.
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