I was talking to my sister on the phone yesterday. She was asking how the girls liked school...yada, yada, yada. Then she asked if Stella had had any playdates yet :O AAAAKKKK!
I guess I answered her a bit sharply by saying 'GOD, no!!!'
I had almost forgotten about those dreaded things. Now, I know it's not going to make me popular by saying this, but really? I'd rather make flippin' mud pies on my freshly cleaned rugs (that I did myself) than play small-talk. I really can't stand the fakery and in trying to be my authentic self, I'd rather not because inevitably the time is spent something like this....'lets make small talk, fill in the void, compare my mothering to your mothering and how many organic goodies are in your lunch box and I can't believe you don't have your toes professionally painted and my husband is fabulous and can take naps all day and we're going to Disney World for Thanksgiving and my house is cleaned once a week by Merry Maids and my Prada bag is bigger than your 'what kind of bag is that?'...Do you get it? It's exhausting! I just don't care to have these fakery friendships...I don't want them. I've got no time for them. They drive me NUTS!
*
Now. I have to admit. Some good has come from these 'playdates' in the past. But just like everything else...you've got to go through twenty to find one or two (Lis, if you're reading this you are the golden egg in the bunch.) SO. If it happens because we have a connection and WE want to spend time together than great. But if your snot-nosed kid wants to play with my snot-nosed kid and you and I have zippo in common...it ain't happenin'.

In other news...

:)

Just listed in the shop!

Have a simply fabulous day.

ps.

Kanye S.U.C.K.S

xo

Today I feel like taking cover.
I want to avoid stuff.
Just stuff.
I don't want to think about the house.
I don't want to think about the three different teacher questionnaires I need to fill out.
I don't want to think about the hundreds I'll need to spend on school clothes.
I don't want to think about how next week Zoe turns 9.
What?
How did that happen.
I don't have a thing for her yet.
I don't want to think about how waking at 6:00am after a night at work is going to feel again...one more week and I will.
I don't want to think about the girl drama that happens when you're in 4th grade.
My Zoe is so fragile.
So sensitive.
Her sweet little heart can't take much abuse.
I don't want to think about debt.
I don't want to think about how scary it is out there in the big bad world.
I don't want to think about artificial growth hormones,
antibiotics, pesticides.
How organic may not mean organic.
I want to spend $300 at anthropologie and buy new bedding.
I've filled my cart a half a dozen times...just dreaming.
I want to hire a maid.
I want to hire a nanny.
I want to feel what it's like to never worry about finances.
No more migraines.
No more stomach wrenching fights between my girls.
I'm negative today.
I hate that.
It's not a good feeling.
90 degrees and 100% humidity = really bad hair.
I'll turn it around.
I always do.
So don't worry.
I'm ok.
xo

I had MAJOR insomnia last night. I went to bed around 9 because I was tired from working the night before and I had had a migraine earlier in the day. I read for a bit and nodded off to sleep. Woke up at 10:45 and COULD NOT get back to sleep. I kept feeling like I couldn't swallow which made me panic. I started making lists in my head of all the things I can't forget to bring on our 10 day trip to Telluride. Then I started questioning myself as a mother. I need to stop feeling guilty about E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G! It's so easy to do as a mom. Perfection and motherhood do NOT go hand in hand and this I need to realize right damn now. I must have started nodding off again but because of my lack of swallowing I drank more water than usual which then made me have to ___e every half hour! Awake again. Checking the clock and counting the remaining time I have left to sleep. Ugggggg. It's morning...did I even sleep? Bought the cheap ground coffee instead of my usual and WHY the hoot did I do a stupid thing like that? Because I was trying to shave a few dollars off my already exorbitant grocery bill...note to self (don't skimp on the IMPORTANT things like coffee...makes for a lousy cup = a cranky mom). Blah, blah, blah. Working a ton next week. Yawn. Later taters.

Daily Gratitudes
1. Sunshine
2. Family
3. Today I was a good mom
4. The pool
5. Yummy dinner

I need to vent...

101 in Swine flu prevention...don't let your kid do this :)
thanks honeybee for the laugh!

Now for the vent.

Call me crazy. Tell me I'm over reacting. Tell me you'd totally be annoyed, mad, frustrated too. Here's what happened. A little friend in Ruby's class had a birthday yesterday. On Monday when I went to pick Zoe up from school we ran into 'Chloe' and her Mom. 'Chloe' asked if Ruby could come over after school yesterday to celebrate her birthday with her. The wheels started turning in my head...how in the world would I be able to pull off a gift in less than 24 hours knowing I was working until at least midnight on Monday and wouldn't have the time to run and get one? I did what I had to do. I dragged my sorry a$$ to Wally world first thing Tuesday morning, bought a gift, wrapped it and delivered it to 'Chloe's' doorstep. No, this wasn't a birthday party...just a playdate. I still felt inclined to get a little something even though if 'Chole' does have a b'day party I'd probably pick something else up for her as well. Ok. I digress. Fast foward to 2:00pm. I'm rushing, stressed and out of time. I again have to go to work, exhausted and totally not in the mood or mindset to process what was about to happen.

'Missy' opens the door and I see Ruby in the background looking really, really sad. I thought uh-oh...bad playdate. NO! 'Missy' tells me that the gift I had rushed to get 'Chloe' was a duplicate of one she already had so she took the girls to Walmart to exchange it for another. WHAT???? About 100 thoughts started flying through my head. You took my daughter in your car without my permission? You took my daughter to Walmart aka the land of the child predators without my permission. You stood in the customer service line that is always at least a half hour wait with my daughter without my permission. You made my daughter feel bad about the gift I had bought and so on this 90 degree day you HAD to take my daughter with YOU to Walmart? Out of the three hour playdate you spent at least an hour of it in the land of the horrible? My daughter had to watch your daughter get excited about getting a new toy at Walmart and stand by and get nothing? SHE'S FIVE!!! You DON'T do that!!!! My heart is racing as I'm writing this...I'm SOOOO pissed!

I grab Ruby...apologized for her behavior (WHY did I DO that!!!!!!?????) I just wanted to get the heck out of there. So shoeless, hot, embarrassed, and PISSED we get in the car. I'm mad and I feel horrible. I explain a little loudly :O to Ruby that she can't ask for gifts and that she doesn't get to get something every time she's in a store. My.blood.is.boiling!!!!!!! I calm myself down and move on.

She will never, NEVER be allowed to go to this little girls house again. I wish I were more verbally confrontational because I'd love to give this woman an ear full...I'm just not. As for going to 'Chole's' birthday party??? Ummmmm.....we'll be busy that day whenever the heck it is.

Don't mess with me.

Oh and 'Missy' if you're reading this? You're not too smart, are you?