a new day...

woke up this morning after a fit-full sleep

the dog was barking until all hours

thoughts swirling around and around in my head

didn't think i was going to get any rest

thought for sure i could feel my head pounding at 5 am

i rose out of bed before daylight and found that 

clarity 

welcomed me

i felt relief

perhaps it was the tears i shed last night

my words heard

my heart listened

i will take each day as it comes

as my man does

i will dip into my craft 

and shrug off the bad stuff

the stuff i can't control

and 

breathe

i know i've been gone 

a

lot.

my hope is with a new year just around the corner

i will feel like a fresh start is in order.

there are so many things about this past year i just want to forget

and so i do

by 

ignoring them.

i haven't wanted to visit all those happy blogs in my sidebar,

haven't wanted to post lately because 

i don't want to be debbie downer.

i'm working through something inside myself that just takes time.

patience.

i want to keep it real around here and 

posting the fa-la-la's of my day seem like a lie.

i'm not a liar.

i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i get swept up in the christmas spirt

asap.

love,

me

scenes from the city...

i know my posts have been inconsistent lately

that's life

i've taken on the motto

'i'll get to it when i get to it'

that's a pretty tough sentiment to live by when you're as controlling as i am.

i NEED to be in control and over the past year i've felt things are OUT of my control.

hard pill to swallow but little by little i am

*

craig and i got away to our much loved and missed 'bean' town last weekend.

it was my birthday

i turned 25

cough

we loved every minute of it

we realized that even after being together for 15 years we still really like each other

that's hard to say for a lot of married couples so i count ourselves as lucky

i'm certainly not the easiest person to be with and frankly neither is he :O

we had an amazing dinner at mistral

where we were treated like royalty

and we laid our heads at the inn at st botolph

amazing

picked out my own birthday cake from flour

and shopped at trader joes

it

was

nice

the escape from the daily grind was awesome but some things never change

i actually like the daily grind

i'm a routine kind of gal i guess

peace out peeps

until next time

today i'm just going to be....

running on empty..

i've felt like running.

running away,

running towards,

running and running and running
until i can catch my breath
again
and run some more...
from.
to.
and
back again.

when i look at you...

 

here...

hello!

we're still here.

fall is busy, busy being pulled this way and that.

trying to find that balance

and having to let certain things fall behind.

thinking of you!

apples or children...

 

 sometimes waiting can be the best part of getting something you want.

the anitcipation

of the good,

the sweet,

the prize.

 

taking your time to get to that special place

where the treasure will be found...

looking this way and that

wondering if this one will be the best choice.

 

and when you've found what you're looking for

so beautiful,

and shining

waiting there just for you

 

you gently hold it until it's free in your hand

and you look at it,

amazed 

that 

this sweetness

is yours.

a guy...

i love a guy who doesn't lack self confidence.

a guy who will defy all odds and remove a 5lb bag of potatoes hidden on the counter.

a guy who in MY time of need pms will eat all the cupcakes he could possibly reach so i'm left with none.

a guy with such moxie,

a zip in his step,

a non discriminating bone in his body...barbie, pillow stuffing, dog mat, trash, lunch box, shoe, book, wii, cactus, CUPCAKES.

he enjoys them all...

quite equally in fact.

he's a guy we hate to love but love to hate.

he's our lil' guy and we're keepin' him.

innocence...

i wish they'd stay this innocent forever...

when holding a bug isn't creepy 

and i'm their best friend.